"Start at the beginning" Parky said, "take you time". He turned and gestured to Toddy to start writing up the conversation with his left hand, his right hand busy shoving cake into his half full mouth.
"well " she said, "i was just making my breakfast this morning".
"what time was that madam" Parky butted in.
"Oh about , well lets see, err about 7.30 am, yes that's about right"
"I see" Parky replied nodding as he did so. " 'ere hang on, they said at the station it was last night !" Parky added.
"Well i heard the sound of the old tin bath tub falling over last night" she answered. "At first i thought it was the cat but when i looked she was on the settee".
"Did you see anyone?" asked Parky
"Oh no i wasn't looking, i AM on my own you know" she retorted.
"Righto then, what about this morning?" Parky asked in-between chewing cake and spitting crumbs out on the floor, He wiped his mouth with his right hand now free after polishing off the last of the cake.
"Did you like that?" she asked
"Aye i did be god" Parky told her hoping she had some more left. But she mentioned nothing about any more cake for Parky, instead focusing on the story.
"Well i was just bringing the milk in front the front door when i heard a bang at the back". she explained. "anyway i went back to the kitchen so i could observe what had happened" she continued.
"Did you see anyone?" Parky asked
"At first i didn't look, with all the noise i thought someone was about to mill lay me" she replied.
"Mill lay?" Parky asked
"Oh yes it's an old expression my father used when i was just a wee girl" she told him
"What's it mean? "Parky asked
"Mill Lay? Oh it means To force open the doors of houses in order torob them.
"Does it be god?" Parky said surprised
"oh yes, but alot of old sayings have been lost over the years"
"Like what?" Parky asked
"Oh well like , the gallows we called the morning drop or gypsies we called moon men" she explained.
"Well i never . 'ere Toddy you lern somethin everyday ya do" he said laffin.
"it's all here in this big old book" she said pointing at the small but fully filled bookcase in the corner of the room, both Parky and Toddy looked round,
"take it out" she told him "it's the one on the second shelf with the black covers" she added.
Parky told Toddy to get it and pass it to him, well why keep a dog and bark yourself he thought. Toddy did his duty and picket dup the rather heavy and bulky book and passed it to Parky who blew off the dust on the cover and opened it out while Mrs. Jones continued with her story.
"Did you see who it was and would you know them again?" Parky asked but was too busy reading the book to listen to her answer.
"Yes i did once i had grabbed my walking stick in case i was attacked, believe me i will give as good as i get" she exclaimed.Toddy wrote every single word down without looking up, but he could hear Parky quite clearly.
"Ruddy 'ell, cor blimey, disgustin" he said while flicking tho the pages, "cant believe what's in 'ere" he said. "flippin 'eck"
"Oh it doesn't shock me" she replied "we had a hard life growing up, my old man worked down the mines at Agecroft".
"What's it called?" Toddy asked.
"Best you don't know son, not for your eyes this err isn't" Parky boldly stated. Parky closed the book sharply producing a waft of dust as he did so and placed it on the sideboard now far from Toddy who raised himself up to see the title. The title read "The 1812 dictionary of vulgar tongue by Captain Grose Et Al".
"I think we had better get back to the story misses" Parky said quickly trying to change the subject while carefully pushing the book out of Toddy's sight.
"Well" she said "it was just as i said before, i was getting breakfast and i heard this bang, so i hid behind the curtain and peeped out, I saw a scruffy looking lad with a jenny trying to open the shed door" she continued.
"A jenny?" Toddy asked,
"She means a crowbar son" Parky chipped in.
"Would you know him if you saw him again?" Parky asked her.
"Oh yes, can see him plain as day" she said.
Could you describe him?" Parky enquired
"Mmmm now lets see, oh that's right, he had national health specticales,short brown hair but hidden by a flat cap, dark trousers and a dark jacket." she explained.
"Anything else?" Parky added.
"oh err yes, he had a limp when he walked" she told them.#
"Arrr i might just know the lad" Parky said with a smile on his face. "sounds like one of the Jameson lads".
"anything missing or damaged?" Toddy added, Parky looked at him with a 'if looks could kill' expression on his face.
"I'LL do the talking thank you" he told Toddy.
"No no don't think anything was taken , i didn't notice anything damaged either, mind you i haven't looked that closely, i am on my own after all".
Toddy continued writing it all down while Parky started liking his lips as a hint he wanted a bit more cake, she took the bait.
"A little more cake?" she asked him
"It would be rude not too" he joked.
"And the lad?" she asked.
"yes please" Toddy said but just as he did so Parky made it clear he had other ideas.
"No the lad will be outside in the yard checking things over" Parky told her, after all this meant more cake for him.
"Err will i?" asked Toddy.
"Aye go an look, make sure she will be safe tonite" he barked.
"Come on in the kitchen and help yourself" she told Parky, He duly did, he didn't need a second invitation.
"just humour the old bat" Parky whispered to Toddy.
"What was that you said?" she shouted from the kitchen.
"oh just telling the lad to manouver the old cat before opening the door or it will escape" Parky replied.
Toddy smiled not quite believing how it gets away with his cheek every time and opened the backdoor into the yard, He could see the tin bath leaning against the wall, an old mangle for drying the clothes on, a garden shed, which was a bit worse for wear and tear over the years, and an assortment of flowerpots. Toddy walked over to the shed and checked the door, he noticed the telltale signs of something had been used to lever out the padlock but failed, He Tugged at the lock with his right hand and then let it go after satisfying himself it was secure. He then turned and went back into the back room.
"Found anythin?" Parky asked in a muffled voice due to his mouth being full of cake at the time.
"Yes the shed door has been tampered with but not broken" Toddy replied.
Parky finished his eating, wiped his lips with his sleeve and then said "Well that's about all the details we need for now, we will be in touch" he explained to her.
"are you going now?" she asked.
"Aye I'll have a word with this lad an see if he shed some light on it" Parky replied, " And DON'T worry , just leave it to us and we shall sort it out" he said.
"Oh thank you, i don't want to be any trouble," added.
"Don't worry luv, that's what we are here for, we know all the local villains round 'ere, I'm sure we will sort this up quickly" Parky assured her.
"Oh thank you so much" she said and escorted them down the hallway to the front door.
"We will be in touch" Parky told her as he walked though the door back into civvy street. Toddy followed while putting his notebook and pencil back in his left breast pocket.
Toddy turned to say "Thanks for the tea..." but the door suddenly slammed in his face.
"I was right the first time,,, a daft old bat" Parky remarked as they headed off down the street to find the villain he suspected of being responsible for the offence.
"Do you know him then?" Toddy asked.
"Aye an just you wait an see me give him a good grillin when i see him" Parky boasted.
They headed off towards Ramsbottom Row, a place known for rogues and the not so fortunate.
www.pctodd.co.uk
Posts
