What's that pong?
The next day Toddy was up at dawn, still thinking of the day before which hadn't been as bad as he thought it would have gone. He opened the curtains and looked out of the window. It was sunny and dry, not a cloud in the sky, in fact not a bad start tom the day at all considering it was December and the ground had been covered in snow the day before. He quickly got dressed and had his breakfast, in fact toddy was looking forward towards what the day would bring, he always knew that each day would be different and after yesterday he could quite believe it.
Toddy set off for the station daydreaming as he went , playing back in his mind everything that had happened to Parky, smiling as he walked, if anyone had seen him they must have thought he was a little crackers particularly when he burst out laughing now and again at his thoughts of Parky's pants on fire.
As toddy walked though the stations gate posts he saw Parky stood outside with a couple of other officers, Parky was as normal having a crafty smoke out of sight of the Inspector. as their eyes made contact with each other Parky began to smile,
"aye up looks who's here" Parky said. The other officers who Toddy didn't know looked up from the papers they were reading.
"Hi Parky. caught you having a crafty one eh" Toddy replied. "so that's why your standing out here" he continued.
"Aye that's right" Parky answered with a glint in his eye "you'd better errr go on in and sign on" Parky added.
As toddy climbed the steps and eased his way between them to open the door the others moved to the side to make way, sniggering as they did so, Toddy turned round to see Parky laughing like the clown at the Pleasure Beach in Blackpool.
" ok what's the joke" asked Toddy,
"Oh nothing lad, just go in" Parky replied." you'll find out soon enough"
Toddy opened the door and instantly was hit be the most disgusting smell he had been subjected to for years,
"What's that pong?" he asked Parky
Drunk Again Are We Sir?
Toddy walked into the station and turned left into the reception area, as he did so the small got worse, maybe its the drains he thought to himself until he opened the reception door and everything came to light.
As Toddy entered he could see Pc Walker leaning over the charge desk, pen in hand filling out a form. Pc Walker looked up and beckoned him over with his finger.
"Toddy make yourself useful and get Mr. Atkinson's coat off the rack will you" Pc walker told him.
"Right away " Toddy replied. he went over to the coat stand in the corner of the room and took down the coat and placed it on the desk.
" You'll have to learn how to fill these forms out so come over here and watch me", Pc Walker told him. Toddy did as he was told, being new on the job he didn't want to rock the boat just yet.
Stood on the other side of the counter and the source of that awful smell that was emitting from his person was Mr. Atkinson.
Mr. Atkinson was in his mid 40's, scruffy appearance wearing a grand-dad style collarless shirt and a scarf which had just been handed back to him, god blimey baggy pants with a huge 4 inch wide belt and a dirty and withered leather waistcoat.
"Right Wilbur, i hope you've had chance to think about your actions while you've been sleeping it off in the cells."
"I've had a rite gud nites sleep ya know" Wilbur told him, "aye them beds are better than what I've got at 'ome".
"Toddy this is Wilbur Atkinson, one of our regular clients at this hotel" Pc Walker told Toddy.
"Hotel?" Toddy remarked
"Well you'd think so seeing he's here every damn week" Pc Walker informed him. "He only comes here for a free breakfast"
"You must be jokin" Wilbur snapped "The bacon is like cardboard and the sausages haven't seen a blinkin pig".
"It didn't stop you eating it though did it" Pc Walker quickly fired back.
" Well you know what they say, never look a gift horse in the mouth" Wilbur pointed out.
"You wont that's for sure, anyway lets get you processed and get you out of here" Pc Walker told him.
"aye an about time too, i got to get back to feed the ''orse yet" Wilbur retorted.
Pc walker opened a bag with Wilbur personal effects inside and began to hand them over to him ticking off each item as he did so on the form he had laid in front of him.
"one cap.. dirty and withered" said Pc walker as he passed the cap over to him holding it gingerly between his thumb and index finger. Wilbur took it off him and placed it on his head but not before checking inside to see if that ten shilling note was still hidden away.
"cash....to the value of....£2, 10 shillings and sixpence".
Wilbur cupped his left hand at the end of the counter and flicked each coin into his sweaty palm counting it as he did so," Just makin sure it's all 'ere" Wilbur uttered. He then crumpled it all up and tucked it into his left trouser pocket
"rite ill be off now, give my regards to the chef" Wilbur told him sarcastically.
Wilbur was just about to leave as he heard Pc Walker utter under his breath "smelly sod, he might get ran over if we're lucky".
Wilbur who was always a little hot tempered especially after he had had a few jars was NOT impressed, turned to face Pc Walker and flew into a rage banging his fists on the counter forcing the un-suspecting officer to step back in shock and try and compose himself, but alas, it was too late and a heated argument was on the cards with no sign of Wilbur letting go before he had made his point.
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