Oh My God It's.....
Parky and Toddy set off out of the station very chuffed with themselves, Parky had that big beaming tell tale smile on his face, whistling the song "The sun has got his hat on", why it was only 11 o'clock and they had made an arrest already, Toddy wished he had done the deed, as yet he had not made his first arrest, something he was hoping he wouldn't have to wait long for, mind you he knew it was only his third day in the job.
They took a short cut though Park View Road to Heywood Road and as they turned the corner they stopped dead in their tracks at the sight that behold them.
A crowd of people were sprayed across the road all shouting and pushing each other around. They walked closer not quite knowing what it was all about until they got within hearing distance of the noisy motley crew of mobbing pedestrians.
"I don't believe it" Parky mocked, "you think you.ve seen it all but ....."
Toddy moved for a better view and he too was a little taken aback.
In the middle of the road were about 20 people are fighting over what looked like rags. they were pushing and shoving and the cloth was giving way under the pull of their eagerness to make use of the situation.
On the pavement, sat upright but a little dazed was our old pal Wiffy Wilbur, no one was even with him to make sure he was alright. The left wheel had worked its way off the axle of the rag and bone cart showering the road with both Wilbur himself and the entire contents of the rear loading bed of the cart.
"Alright alright let's have some order round 'ere!" shouted Parky as he waded into the crowd pushing some of them into the hedges of the gardens facing the incident.
Some of the crowd now ran off taking with them some cloth and even an old bike so Parky turned his attention to Wilbur.
"What happened?" he asked Wilbur.
Wilbur explained to him " I just felt a jolt and then rolled off the cart onto the pavement" pausing while sipping a quick dram of scotch from his hip flask. "then they all came out of Bannerman Ave, thought i was done for" he continued. Once again he had a quick swig of whisky.
"'ad you been drinking before this?" asked Parky.
"No i wasn't, just trying to steady my nerves with this" Wilbur replied wiping his lips with his right hand as he said so.
"Your lucky, could have been nasty, just a few cuts and bruises" Parky informed.
Parky turned to Toddy, "Pick some of that stuff up and get it off the road NOW" he barked.
Toddy duly did his duty but wasn't pleased at being used as a servant.
"Stand up and lets see if you can walk" Parky told Wilbur, well he tried and he tried but he couldn't stand at all. Every time he got up his legs gave way even when trying to hold on the lamppost.
"Eee by god you're ruddy plastered!" Parky remarked "'ow many have you 'ad?"
"Oh just a couple at the Turf Tavern" Wilbur replied, "ere im ok ya knows, i can hold me drink".
"Aye it looks like it!" Parky replied.
Sgt Hooper arrived in his car, Parky walked over to the car just where he thought it would park up.
"What's all this then?" Sgt Hooper asked.
"It's Wilbur again, wheel fallen off cart but he's kaylied too".
"Right I'll take him back with me" Hooper told him.
Parky trotted over to Wilbur, cautioned him and helped him to Sgt Hooper's car. "back to where you belong.." he told Wilbur "behind bars", Parky joked.
"Ive just come from a bar" Wilbur replied. " an it's got better service than this " he shouted as he was dragged into the back seat.
"You stay here until i get someone over to move it all" Sgt Hooper told Parky
"Aye ok sarge" replied Parky and took up his position with Toddy at the side of the road.. he didn't have to wait long before he was relieved the local garage with a recovery truck.
The helped load up the truck and after having a quick crafty ciggy and wasting a bit of time Parky decided it was time to go back to the station.
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